Real Mom Tips

Last Sunday we celebrated Mother’s Day It’s a special occasion for all of us, although we don’t need one day to remind us ouour durty, but maybe our husbands can prepare a little something extra special for us, so we can have a little bit of time for us to be pampered.

Well it was my very first one!! and it got me thinking and wondering, if I’m going to be a good mother, If I’ll be able to raise my son to be poilte and gentle – or if I would let my son break the rules for a little bit of extra fun. Since I’ve become a mother for my son my job description has become so long that it doesn’t even fit in one page. it’s a never ending range of roles: cooking, housekeeper, nurse, tutor, psychologist, marketing expert etc. I know my son is still young but we provide all the possible love we can give him and althoughsometimes I’ll be dead tired I wake up 3-4 times a night to check that he’s ok and when I’m taking a bath and hear him I run out of the bath all wet to check that he’s ok. In the near future I’ll be called to fix toys, tend to cuts and bruises and mend broken hearts – sometimes in a space of a couple of hours.

As hard as it is to imagine, my tiny baby will eventually grow into an adult with a family of his own and I hope that I’ll watch with pride the moment he’ll start his own family and tell me that he’ll give the family love we gave him.

Before I got pregnant I used to work in an office with extreme long hours:- from seven in the morning till six/seven in the eveing:- don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about the long hours, I used to enjoy it and I really love the work. After work, straight home leaving me with a few hours with my husband. Saturday’s used to be a busy day as we had to clean the house and do the shopping and then on Sunday’s , our relaxed day, we visit our families. I would have a day off from cooking and cleaning but would be thinking all over agaagain about the following week. I used to say that I never had a minute for myself cause from one thing to another I was left with no time for relaxtion.

Well I could say that I was wrong, cause from the minute I decided to stop working and enjoy motherhood I more busier then ever. As my husband is the family bread winner now I try to do the basic household chores myself so when my husband comes home from work we would have some family quailty time and my son would really know his father.

When at first I came home from hospital with the baby I was a total mess from the lack of sleeping to the exictment of just having a  baby  . I wanted everthing to be right and as ever new mother I would go nuts every time my babt would start crying. By time we settled down and both I and the baby got to know each other. Nowadays I got to know when he wants his nap so I cuddle him and talk softly to him so he would sleep; I know when he wants his milk and when he’s crying for a nappy change. The routine we settled into leave me with time to do all the chores in the house, to plan our shopping trips and to sometimes quietly enjoy a cup of tea.

I am a person who likes things to be organized, but with a six month old baby the house is never organized as before. We have baby stuff and toys whereevr you look but the routine system and team work works best for us. I do a ‘to-do’ list which is attached to our fridge and it helps me remeber all the important things that needs to be done. Each time I cross something from the list, I consider it a personal achievment. Besides I take the opportunity of which priority needs to be done. When Matthew was young and we woukd have a sleepless night, I would sleep at any moment he sleeps during the day  as afteerwards I would have more energy and be more productive. Nowadays since his sleeping pattern has improved I plean a day’s ahead of what needs to be cleaned, if I needed to go shopping, and the endless list of tasks that needs to be done.

But with small children sometimes you find yourself doing somthing totally different, so whatever you plan for the day don’t considfer it done but with a routine, team-work from all the family members and a priority list you’ll make wonders of how you’ll manage your time.

 Choosing your baby name can be one of the stressful and trickiest part while pregnant. In today’s world, in the early weeks of pregnancy one can know the sex of the baby. Knowing if you’re accepting a boy or a girl will definitely influence the perspective view of your pregnancy.

In my opinion it is nice to leave it as a surprise although most pregnant woman would have a good intuition what they are going to have. Anyway back to baby’s name’s – as soon as a woman finds out that she’s going to have a baby we give our baby pet name. I had chosen two for my sweet angel – BABY B and CUCKOO. Some of you might wonder what BABY B stands for. Well we only got to know that we’re expecting a boy in the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy, so I used to call my baby – Baby B as our last name starts with a B – if we had a girl her last name would still be the same.

I remember that when I felt me baby kicking and moving around or I felt like talking to my sweet angel I called him either Baby B or Cuckoo. I found out that the latter one is a very common pet name, so my favourite was Baby B as it was more personal.

Back to real names – as I told you before I didn’t know the sex of my baby till the very end so we had to chose 2 names – one for a girl and one for a boy. We used to go through endless lists of baby names and making separate lists and then we compare them to see which names both me and my husband preferred. Normally we used to have a list of 4 or 5 names for a girl and only 1 name for a boy – thank god I wasn’t pregnant with twin boys. Whatever lists or books we used to check we were stuck with the name Matthew and that is what we named our little prince.

We used to check what the name would be when shortened, so it wouldn’t be something ridiculous and we made sure that it would rhyme with our second name. In today’s world, both boys and girls keep their second name so remember, that whatever name you chose for your little one will live with them all their lives.

In my opinion it is best to chose a standard name and not some sort of name that one would have a difficult knowing if it’s a boy’s name or a girl’s name. My mother works in a school for young kids and used to tell me how other children make fun of such names and tend to find something that stupidity rhymes with the name.

So whatever name you chose for your baby remember that a name is something that he has to call himself for the rest (more…)

 While in my previous writings I have written how motherhood can be about an increable life time experience, some of us may go through some baby blue. While our children are the most precious gifts nothing can prepare us for the change in our lifestyle.

The hormonal changes our body goes through is unexplained and it varies from one woman to another. If you’re feeling strange or unusual it is a complete normal feeling which will eventually pass once you set a routine. Woman with baby blues may cry easily for no reason at all and feel that whatever they do is wrong. Nevertheless, sleepless nights, the household and changing your life according to the baby needs do not help at all. Some woman may feel that they are a milk-on demand factory and nobody understands them. The effect of the physical changes in a woman’s body is also a cause for baby blues. While during pregnancy woman wear their bump with pride, after the birth we find ourselves disliking our body as some of us would be left with stretch marks and loose skin.

If you being to feel depressed, seek help immediately. Talk to your husband, partner, you mother, a friend about the situation and ask them to help you in getting back to your or old self. Try to make an appointment with your hairdresser or your beautician and in the meanwhile let someone take care of your child. You can spare an hour for yourself and talk to other people. The more you speak about your problem the better you feel.

In the first couple of weeks when your baby is born you want him all for yourself and don’t like other people cuddling and holding him. That is a total natural feeling but remember no-one is a superwoman and never refuse any help from another’s. A couple of minutes alone each day may help you reflect on your situation and help you think how to improve yourself and your new family life.

 Every baby has his own personality. Every baby’s pattern of development is different.

One baby can be big-boned and clumsy while another can be small-boned and delicate. One baby can be an expert in rolling while he may turn out to be slow to learn to walk.

Love and enjoy your baby for what he is, what he looks like and what he does, never try to compare your child with other babies . Let your child develop his own skills and personality.

THE CHILD WHO IS LOVED FOR WHAT HE IS WILL GROW UP IN CONVIDENCE IN HIMSELF.

A child who is not accepted as, he is, feels that something is not right and would grow up lacking confidence. Remember that a child lacking confidence in childhood would multiplied tenfold by the time he will grow up.

 If you have a baby most probably you listen more carefully when your family and friends talk about motherhood, its ups and downs, and the everyday situations they encounter. Before your baby is born you would think that motherhood is a very complicated business but believe me, within the first 3 months you’ll get to know your baby and you would be an expert loving and caring mother.

Don’t take too serious whatever you’ll hear. Motherhood would not be complicated if you trust your instincts and use your common sense. At first everything is a little bit awkwardly but by time you’ll expertly learn how to change the baby, wash him, feed him and all the million things you’ll have to do.

However antenatal classes, local health authorities and hospital services can be helpful in discussing with you any questions that you might have. If you feel that you need to ask something about your baby do not be afraid to do so, remember that a mother feels if something unusual happens to her baby.

Otherwise each time you hold him, cuddle him and smile at your baby, he would get the feeling that he belongs to you and you to him and nobody in the world can give him that.

Mum! Mum! Mum! What a wonderful word – No career, no ambition can fulfil a mother’s job. Nothing can be compared to the joy a mum feels when her child looks up at her and inocently gives her that special smile.

No book, no seminar, no mother – daughter talk can actually prepare you for the love, joy and pride you feel on the day your child is born. For every mum the day her child is born is the most memorable day of her life and from the  very first moment a mother holds her child she looks in the most beautiful  eyes and silently shouts with love to her baby

• Don’t worry – I am here to protect you – Nothing is every going to happen to you